Fellowship of The Cross

FELLOWSHIP OF THE CROSS

People always talked about a relationship

but what I heard wasn’t relatable. 

It was scary , 

it made me nervous,  

it was  Do this, don’t do that, go forward, don’t go back...

but I always went back,  I always went back. 

People always said he died for me

”I said I can believe that...is that it? 

That’s it! 

Except do this, believe that, go forward, don’t go back...

but I went back, I always went back.

People said “the Bible says..” 

and I said “your right”...

and they said "obey"

and I said “I’ll try..”. 

Do this, don’t do that, go forward don’t go back...

but I always went back, I always went back.

People said “you can do or have whatever you put your mind to...

have success, over-come, get freedom...” 

so I set my mind on it and moved forward, 

I tried not go back...

but I always went back, I always went back. 

People said “it’s your fault”...

I said “Your right...”

So I tried to go forward, 

I tried not to go back...

but I always went back, I always went back.

People said we should be a community...

do life together...I said “I’m in...how do we do it?” 

Let’s see each other once a week and talk about what you think...

and keep moving forward, don’t go back...

but I always went back, I always went back.

People said “we should share the gospel”...

I said “your right...how do we do that ?” 

“You know...tell people he died for you so you could be forgiven and go to heaven..."

but until then...just believe 

and go forward, try not to go back...

but I always went back, I always went back.

I asked “why do I keep going back?”...

quiet..nothing..silence. 

So I went forward, trying not to go back...

but I always went back, I always went back. 

People asked “why do you go back..?” 

I said “I’ve never really left...I’ve never gone forward, 

it’s hard to move when your arms and legs are chained to the darkness”

I asked “how do I get out?” 

He said “follow me”...

I said “but these chains” 

he said “if you want the chains off..bend over and pick up that cross”...

I said “but it’s heavy”...he said “your right” 

so I picked up the cross and he was right..

it was heavy, it hurt, 

I saw who I’ve been, I smelled the vomit I had returned to, 

I saw the losing, I saw the failure, 

I saw the shame,  I felt the guilt. 

He said “ok, you picked it up...now follow me” 

I took a step and a chain came off, 

I took another and another came off...

and another. 

I said “I don’t want to go back...” 

He said “then everyday..pick this up...and fellowship with me” 

so I asked “what about moving forward?” 

He said “fellowship with me” 

i asked “how will I know I’m moving forward?” 

He said “ I move, you move...follow me” 

I asked “where are we going?” 

He said “good news...we are going  to die”  

"Die?" I asked

“Yes...die” he said

 “Die with me and die with the others who are of the Fellowship of the Cross”

He said 

“Those who are of the Fellowship of the Cross will also be of The Fellowship of Resurrected Life”